Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
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My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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