I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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