i think my tv is drunk
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize