Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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