She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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