office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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