he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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