I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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