"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
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then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
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My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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