I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize