He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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