we have pet lesbian snakes
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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