her vagine was all disorganized.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize