Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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