my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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