i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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