look no pants
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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