yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
