Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
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All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
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So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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