rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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