Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize