dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
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threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
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She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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