ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize