I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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