all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize