i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize