Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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