Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize