Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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