You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize