am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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