I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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