I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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