My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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