What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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