It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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