Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize