I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize