how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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