Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize