When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize