Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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