I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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