is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You ruined the universe
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize