i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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