Pants 0. Shit 1.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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