I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize