i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize