I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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