Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize