My boss' voice literally gives me gas
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
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