cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
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even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
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Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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